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In Pucker Up: A Hands-On Guide to Ecstatic Sex, sexpert Tristan Taormino (The Ultimate Guide to Anal Sex for Women), who has appeared in Entertainment Weekly, New York, Spin, Playboy and on The Howard Stern Show and the Discovery Channel, combines know-how, enthusiasm, practicalities, compassion and humor to spread the joy of an aspect of our lives "still trivialized, marginalized, and denigrated by most of our cultural institutions." Imparting wisdom on anatomy, communication, safe sex, anal sex, "the basics" (hand jobs and oral sex), toys, tools, erotica, role-playing you name it (don't be shy!), Taormino inspires confidence that all things are possible, not to mention desirable.
John G Younger has collected a fascinating range of topics from Catullus and Caligula to orgies and obscenity, and from abstinence and incest to pederasty and prostitution, this is a dictionary on sex and sexuality in antiquity.
Michelle Langley, author of Women's Infidelity: Living in Limbo: What Women Really Mean When They Say, "I'm Not Happy" says we wouldn't need to keep asking the question: "What do women want?" if women were giving honest answers. Langley says lying and secrecy have always played an important role in female sexuality. Many women still believe that cheating is a worse offense for them than it is for men, this is a belief held over from the past, prior to DNA testing, when males had to rely on the faithfulness of their partners to ensure the paternity of their offspring. Therefore, Langley says, females have always used and continue to use "faithfulness" as a selling tool to attract partners.
Although no longer necessary, Langley says women today continue to hold onto the image of being naturally faithful and somewhat disinterested in sex for several different reasons. She says women often claim they would never cheat and even deny ever having the urge to cheat because it affords them a tremendous amount of freedom. Not only does it allow women to come and go as they please, minus the suspicion and interrogations that men regularly encounter, but it also allows them to appear morally superior; making it possible for them to manipulate male behavior through shame.
Langley also argues that although women often feign disinterest in sex, what many are really disinterested in is having sex with their husbands. Sexually, she says, women enjoy long, passionate, sexual encounters, which is something they seldom experience unless they are in the beginning of a relationship or having an affair. Affairs, she says are quite conducive to female sexual pleasure. Affairs keep passion and desire high. Whereas, many women shy away from sex with their husbands to avoid feeling sexually frustrated or - worst-case scenario - violated.
Ironically, although women act as though sex is not that important to them in their marriages - the truth is that sex is not only important to them but is often a priority. A priority, she points out, because many of them are either heading into or are already smack-dab in the middle of their sexual primes; which is ultimately why many women seek sexual fulfillment outside of their marriages.
Langley contends that both women and the media have to stop perpetuating the myth of the sexless female. She asserts that honesty between the sexes offers the greatest hope for achieving sustainable, fulfilling relationships that include mutual sexual gratification. Langley's book, Women's Infidelity: Living in Limbo: What Women Really Mean When They Say, "I'm Not Happy" delves head-on into this controversial subject matter.
"I cannot believe how wonderfully insightful this book is. As a woman, I can say there isn't a word of this book that I can't agree with. It helped me understand so much about myself and my feelings...about who I am, how I am, and why I am that way.
I am asking my husband to read this to answer many of the questions he has posed to me that I never had answers for, because I really didn't understand myself. Things like, "Why don't women just tell men what they want?"
It's a shame that the title intimidates and fends off some men. I think this book has great potential to help bridge the gap between the sexes and serve as a jumping off point for a lot of open dialogue.
Regardless of whether either partner has ever experienced infidelity - either on the receiving or giving end - this book's conversational style (while sometimes a bit contrived) makes it an easy read and allows the reader to self-examine and identify with a myriad of topics and situations which are discussed.
